Her arthritic fingers gripped the arm of the recliner. She slowly lifted herself out of the chair and toward the window.
Her heart beat just a bit faster with excitement.
Was that her son’s car she heard?
Oh how she hoped it was him.
Is it a blue Chrysler? No, its a red Ford.
She slumped back into the recliner.
She stared at the light reflecting through the window. The brightness was misleading, the temperatures were dropping. Frost formed on the window pain.
“I’m sure the roads are getting bad, maybe he will come tomorrow.”
Maybe Tomorrow, a result of the Friday Fictioneer’s photo prompt.
Copyright Janet Webb
So sad, Tree. Life is short… Oops, now I remember it is a fiction story. 😉 Helen
Exactly Helen!! 🙂
I see the old lady waiting and waiting….
It’s heading inexorably towards Christmas, I’m feeling slightly guilty about not calling my parents, not visiting my grandmother, and then I read this…
This hurts – really well written.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to make some phone calls…
Thank you for the comment….and yes call your family! 🙂
This is a poignant reminder of the many elderly people alone wishing for a visit from their loved ones. The most precious gift we could give them is our time.
That is so true Joanne. I work with many people (Developmental disability, mental illness and elderly) that are left behind during the holiday season (and throughout the year) it is heartbreaking that families do not understand how hurtful this is.
It seems to be another example of our “throw-away” mentality 😦
How many people will actually experience a longing like this at Christmas time? Too many!
Too many indeed!
This makes my heart hurt! I know it’s fiction but it’s reality to so many.
Yes it is Sue. Thank you for your comment.
Everyone! Go call a loved one! 💗💑☎✉
A true to life story. Happens all the time everywhere. Which, of course, doesn’t lessen the pain.
It certainly doesn’t lessen the pain for the one hoping for some companionship! Thanks for your comment.
It’s fiction, but it can be a real life story. Many lonely elderly people out there… Well done.
Yes there are Amy! Sad
Your words tug at my heart strings. This hopeful waiting for a visit is so true for so many seniors. Wonderfully written!
Thank you Sue for you comment.
I agree it is terribly sad how lonely many of our seniors are.
I hope he comes tomorrow…. don’t wait too long!
I believe a welcome to Friday Fictioneers is in order. I feel it only fair to warn you that once you start it’s very hard to stop. Sort of like eating one Lay’s potato chip. 😉
Your story took me from hope to lonely despair in one swell foop. Poignant and well written. I look forward to reading more from you.
Thank you for the welcome and kind words!!
I look forward to joining such a creative bunch of folks….I happen to love Lay’s ptato chips!!
I guess that hope is the last to leave.. But icy roads would be a good excuse.. Loneliness can be terrible.
Yes it can
Beautiful writing. You can feel these words. 🙂
Everyone is being very nice to you so that you’ll come back. Me, I’m the guy that will tell you that spellcheck is not your friend. It’s not able to tell that you probably meant window ‘pane’ as opposed to ‘pain’. You don’t need the two words ‘with excitement’ in your third sentence. Let the reader figure it out. They will. Even the sentence, ‘oh how she hoped it was him’ is unnecessary. 86 it and you have seven more words to use to tug at our heart strings toward the end. You’re spoon feeding us. The old ‘show, don’t tell’ saw is one you ought to investigate.
Those are some of the items that caught my attention on the first reading, Tree. The good news, and there is plenty, is that the seeds of good writing are scattered throughout your story, but you’re going to have to water them and tend them as time goes on. One thing you can do to avail yourself of the plethora of good advice and constructive criticism from the many good authors that participate in Friday Fictioneers is to say at the outset that you welcome same. Or not. I’m gambling here in the hopes that you’re okay with it.
And another thing..an old tradition on my part…I always say, “Welcome to the party, pal” to newcomers. I hope you’ll stick around. I’d love to read more of your work. Let me know if I’ve trodden too heavily on your toes on your first foray here. I’ll back off. Lord knows it’s easier to say, ‘Great job. Nice story.’ But it ain’t always so, just so you know.
I welcome constructive criticism. I appreciate you and others taking the time to read my words and share thoughts and opinions. Its really the only way i know to improve.
Thank you for the welcome and the advice. I look forward to reading your work and meeting other writers.