Excuse Me Sir…

Have you ever been afraid to go to the bathroom?
Weird question huh?

I am uncomfortable going to the bathroom each and every time I use a public facility.

I worry each time I walk into a women’s restroom that someone will look at me with “that” look and tell me I am in the wrong restroom.

I am a masculine woman, I’m tall, I have short hair and I wear masculine clothes…but I am a woman. I have no desire to be a man. I certainly have no desire to use the men’s restroom!

The reason I bring this up is because I’ve heard one too many news reports about yet another state passing a law that will focus on who is allowed to use which restroom.

When did my country become so petty that our local and state governments felt they needed to dictate toilet usage?

I keep hearing….you have to use the bathroom that coincides with your birth certificate. Must we begin carrying our birth certificate?

My gender actually does coincide with my birth certificate….yet I am regularly challenged by other women that assume I don’t know which bathroom to use.

For the most part I can handle myself. I use non-gender specific restrooms, I know every restaurant that has single toilet bathrooms and as my friends will tell you…they are forced to accompany me to the bathroom when out in public.
However, my concern falls to the young men that have realized they are truly female. Please…..please….please….think about how absolutely frightening it would be for a young transgender woman that will be forced to use the mens room. Do we really think she will be safe? Does it matter to the fear-mongers that a transgender woman could be raped? Beaten up? Possibly even killed? I suspect they think she deserves it.

You may be asking how this fits into a year of gratitude. I guess if I were you I would be asking the same question. The reality is, the people who are passing these laws are in the minority. I believe most people are educated and socially aware enough to realize the fears we are being fed are ridiculous.
It is you, the people reading this. The people that choose not to judge others. The people that understand not everyone fits the typical male/female role. It’s you that I am thankful for. You are appreciated by me and every other person that needs to know there are people in this country and in this world that are not afraid of our differences and even embrace our uniqueness. Thank you….i am grateful for you.

12 thoughts on “Excuse Me Sir…

  1. Midwestern Plant Girl

    I totally agree. The fear and hate has got to stop. I’ve got 2 friends (1 M / 1 F). They both changed about 15 – 20 years ago. I knew them both as their original sex also. It’s not easy at all. My now female friend had less issues as she was pretty feminine to begin with. My male friend was not as fortunate. He was harassed in bathrooms during the change as he felt (was pushed?) that he should still use the ladies room. His female friends would run interference, ie, check to see if the ladies was empty. However, that only worked if we were with him.
    So sad!

  2. joannesisco

    Excellent post Tree.

    I alternate between being sad and angry at the mean-spirited fear-mongering coming out the US. I’d like to believe that sanity will prevail, but I’m less confident with each passing day.

    1. treerabold Post author

      Thank you Joanne. I too hope for sanity…but fear we are losing our grasp on it.
      I watched a video last night of a woman being escorted from a bathroom by police officers because they thought she was a man. I watched it several times and sat stunned. I couldn’t help but feel her pain and fear my future!

      1. treerabold Post author

        I know…not sure I understand why people even feel it is there job to monitor who uses what toilet.
        A friend of mine posted….
        If you are in a public bathroom and you think a stranger’s gender doesn’t match the sign on the door, follow these steps
        1) Don’t worry about it, they know better than you.

  3. Sue

    I will be honest and say I had mixed feelings about it the first time I heard the topic discussed. It opened up good dialogue with my daughter and my mom (not at the same time – separate occasions or I probably would not be alive to tell the tale). My initial fears were that some guy (straight male) would use the transgender idea to gain access to women and children in the bathroom. However, it was pointed out that most public bathrooms can be accessed by anyone at anytime, and the issue is the PERSON violating the intended use of a public facility, and not whether the facility is being used by males or females (all gender variations included).

    So, once I thought of it as “Hey, everyone has to poop, regardless of gender. Does it really matter who I “spare a square” with? No.” 🙂

    1. treerabold Post author

      Thank you Sue for commenting and being honest.
      Because it seems like a new topic to most people I think people believe it is a new topic.
      A man wanting to do harm to someone can do it anywhere they find protected enough. This can be in a car, house, park, classroom and even a bathroom…
      It really does not matter you we spare a share with!!

      1. Sue

        I agree because I never thought of it as being an “old” topic until your reply to my comment! But a lightbulb just flashed and I’m realizing that while it may be a “new” topic to me because I never had to think about it before, it’s not a new topic to many people who have had to think about it because of who they are. Geez- I sound like I’ve been living under a rock.

        Oh, and I apologize for stealing all the boob genes in utero. If I had shared even half of them, nobody would question your trips to the women’s bathroom. 😉

      2. Sue

        HaHa! I just laughed out loud – if I had been drinking anything, it would be all over my computer screen right now.

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