Monthly Archives: May 2016

The Internet

Facebook is a waste of time. People should live in reality instead of on the internet. No one uses their brain anymore…all they use is Google. Comments we often hear about the internet and various locations on the web.

I know Facebook can be a waste of time. I’ve grown more fields of corn only to lose the whole crop the next day because I didn’t water it. I’ve spent 5 minutes taking a “test” only to find out my favorite color was green….when all along I thought it was blue.
I know my brain is going to mush….I can remember my childhood phone number, my childhood friend’s phone number but I can only currently store 3 numbers in my head, my cell, my wife’s cell and my job….no other. My mushy brain is stored in my phone and any information I can’t remember like, “name the detectives on Barney Miller,” well I keep that information on Google!

No matter how silly and wasteful we think the internet is….it is also a wonderful thing!
Thanks to Facebook I have reconnected with family members I haven’t seen for decades and friends I haven’t seen since high school.
Thanks to the internet I have met people that live all over the world and get to experience life in places I may never travel.
Thanks to my phone I will never be without a camera, GPS, entertainment or a way to place a phone call.

Though I occasionally long for “the good old days” I am actually thankful to live in this era of technology.

Frustration…

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“I’m going to become my own payee.” This is a statement I frequently hear from my clients when they aren’t getting what they want.

Today one of my long time clients said this very thing to me. Over the last couple months he has grown more and more frustrated because he wants more money. The problem is last year he decided to work. For 3 months he worked nearly full-time, despite my warning that his disability check would be affected. A few months after he lost his job the Social Security administration began docking his check. For approximately one year money will be deducted from his check leaving very little for him to have for the “wants” in life.

When he told me he wanted to start getting his own check I said what I always say….”if that’s what you want you’ll need to go downtown and to talk someone at Social Security.” I warned him that becoming his own payee would not increase his check.

I frequently hear people talking about the people ‘cheating” the system. The lazy bums living off the taxes of those out there working for a living. The truth is this young man has a legitimate disability. He has lived his entire life with an intellectual disability but he wants to be a productive member of society. He wants to support himself and his girlfriend. He wants to pay taxes. But his disability makes it difficult for him to maintain “competitive employment.”

Unfortunately our government makes it difficult for people that receive disability checks to find their way out of the system. If they make too much they start losing money from the government check usually before they can get enough stability under them to maintain their housing, food, transportation, etc. If they simply receive a check and not work…they may lack self worth and may feel they aren’t contributing to society.

This post is not meant to be controversial. These are simply thoughts I struggle with regularly.

I get frustrated with our government when I see my clients struggle to have a meaningful life. Yet I am thankful that our government is willing to help those that need a hand up.
I get frustrated when my clients vent their anger at me….simply because I can’t make money appear from nowhere, yet I am thankful for the determination so many of them show. I am thankful for their desire to make a difference. I am thankful for their desire to be part of the solution and I am thankful that I get the opportunity to support them through these frustrating times.

Choices

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I am always impressed when I see a plant (even a weed) growing from concrete. It seems that one plant decided, against all odds, it would live and maybe even bring a spot of joy into someone’s day.

There are people in our world that are the same way. They choose to make people smile even if their life hasn’t always been a ray of sunshine. They decide not to allow the place they were planted to dictate how they grow.

Sometimes it is an individual that holds the door for the next person. Sometimes it is a teacher that inspires children to be more than anyone else has told them they could be. Maybe it is a person of wealth that shares their financial excess with those that have so little. Often times it is that person that views their challenges as a gift to be shared rather than a punishment to be feared.

I am grateful for people, much like this plant, that choose to grow toward the light rather than hide in the darkness.

Street Poet…

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We met Ronald Miller during our recent food distribution to the homeless. Robert

He first appeared as any other guy on the street, until we started talking. He told us he enjoys writing and asked if he could share one of his poems. He told us he appreciated that we took time to serve him and this was the only way he could re-pay us.

We agreed to hear his poem. We asked if it would be ok to record him and he said yes and I am so glad he did.

I’ve listened to it over and over. I am moved by his honesty and inner reflection and touched by the joy emanated from his smile.

The Beast That Wanted to Die

I was born a beast, from yet a mother who was also a beast.

Not knowing at first that the ability to transform was within me.

For every creature that roamed in my domain I destroyed. Taking the very breath from a body until it was lifeless.

Yet while I watched the lifeless body before me, this pain within my chest began to transform me.
Sending me into a deep sleep, yet as I awoke i realized that I was never that beast at all.

But a beast had taken over, my every thought, my every dream, my every hope.
But now I can see there was this beast in me, that wanted to die.

A great reminder to look beyond the outer shell and seek the beauty within.

Unfortunately I have not chosen to upgrade my blog here at WordPress so I am unable to upload the video of Robert reciting his poem. If you would like to see the video please visit my Facebook Page “365 Days and Counting”

I am grateful for the lessons I am able to learn from complete strangers…when I am willing to open my eyes, heart and thoughts.

Pure Joy….

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I got home from my ride tonight and Tina was watching the original Grease with the girls. I must say this is one of the few movies I can watch over and over. So I join them.
Sonya danced throughout the movie

and if she wasn’t dancing she was singing along…

This girl brings such joy to our lives…

I am grateful I get to hang out with her, laugh with her and occasionally she lets me sing with her!

Sorry for the poor photo quality….it wasn’t a planned activity and I just grabbed my iPhone.

Mother’s Day

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Me and My Mom

Mother’s Day….

I am one of those adult children that has taken on the responsibility of an aging parent. I moved my Mom to Texas 3 years ago because I felt like she needed a little more help when it came to things like medical follow up and finances.
She took a chance moving 1000 miles away from the only place she’s ever called home (Dayton, Ohio). Either she was up for the adventure or she decided maybe she really did need a little extra help…she agreed to the move.

I’m not sure what I thought would happen. Mom and I have always butted heads. I think in some ways we are too much alike and in some ways we are as different as two people can be. But I had this fantasy that we would finally have that mother daughter relationship we had been lacking all those years.
Come to find out we just have a relationship. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but we have a relationship.
I read so many posts today from people talking about what a perfect mother they have or had. How inspiring, how loving, how great….how wonderful.

Please don’t get me wrong, I love my mother and I tell her every time I talk to her that I love her….but we have struggled. We have struggled to understand each other’s point of view, each other’s feelings and each other’s stubbornness. Fortunately we have learned to let go of our hurt feelings and frustrations before time has a chance to pass. We’ve learned that besides my brother…we are all that’s left of our immediate family and no matter how frustrated we may get with each other…we are stuck with each other.

Maybe this is my Mother’s Day reality post. Maybe this is the post that other people will read and say…”oh good I’m not alone.” Then again maybe this is the post that will cause people to say…Oh my, I knew Tree had an evil side…she doesn’t get along with her mom.” But the reality is I am thankful for my mom, she gave me life, she protected me and cared for me. I’m sure it is through her that I found my love for diversity, art and animals. But I also know my Mom and I do not have that magical mother daughter relationship….that I have witnessed between other mothers and daughters.

But I think that is ok. I think Mom and I will continue being this unusual sometimes awkward pair of people that find themselves walking through the house of mirrors one minute and the next minute they are screaming down the big roller coaster hill.

Happy Mother’s Day to each of you….may you appreciate the relationship you have with your mom….whether it be represented by the rose or by the thorny stem….

No More Paper Towels…

Wildflowers

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Reasons I prefer to live in Texas…I dislike cold weather, I like hot weather and I love the wildflowers that blanket the scenery during the spring.

I rode my bike along Benbrook Lake tonight. I couldn’t help but stop and capture this photo of wildflowers.

I am grateful for Mother Nature’s handiwork!

Gay History

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This evening I had the opportunity to hear stories from people that lived through a time of fear, humiliation and discrimination in American history. The people sharing their stories are part of the LGBTQ community and lived during the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.

These women were professionals that constantly feared for their jobs.
The only place for many gays to socialize during that era were bars. But the bars were not safe. The local newspaper would list license plate numbers of the cars parked near a gay bar. The women tonight also spoke of the raids that would occur at the bars. People could be arrested for dancing if the bar didn’t have a “dancing permit.” If the police walked in and all the people at one table were the same gender they could be arrested. They could also be arrested for vagrancy if they didn’t have cash in their pocket.

The most horrifying story I heard was about a building that housed a Metropolitan Community Church downstairs and a gay bar upstairs. Sunday after church the members gathered upstairs in the bar for a covered-dish luncheon. The building was torched and everyone attending died in the fire.

Many brave men and women have lived through dangerous and frightful times.
Last summer the United States Supreme Court handed down a motion giving individuals in the LGBTQ community the right to marry.
We have come a long way from the era discussed tonight but the dance of two steps forward one step back continues.

Today we are fighting to use public bathrooms in peace, without judgement. Today there are still pastors preaching hatred of gays from the pulpit. Today people are still bullied for being different. But thanks to the drag queens that fought back at Stonewall, the individuals brave enough to walk in the early pride parades and the community that took care of itself during the AIDS crisis when everyone else turned their backs, we are better off.
I am grateful for those that blazed the trail, those that stood up for their friends that shivered in the closet and those that fought back against the hate.

A Better Ride…

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Saturday I whined about a frustrating bike ride.

Every Tuesday I do a group ride with people from our local bike shop. Today I almost had myself talked out of riding. I had some serious negative self talk running through my head all day. “I won’t be able to keep up. How am I ever going to ride 100 miles next month? Maybe I’m not strong enough.”

I find it interesting (and frustrating) that I can allow negative thoughts to suffocate the positive ones. The good news is I did not allow the negative thoughts to win. I’ve learned over the years no matter how convinced I am that I am unable to do something…if I persevere it will be ok and I will succeed.

Today I succeeded. I chose the shorter intermediate ride (with ride to and from the shop it equalled 20 miles). I knew it would be helpful to get a good strong ride under my belt (or riding shorts). And I was right. I felt strong and confident in my riding today. This will squash the negative brain waves and increase the positive ones.

I’m sure there are plenty of therapists that would have a field day analyzing my childhood and making a judgement on where the crazy negativity comes from…however, I’ve decided rather than spend money on therapy I’ll spend money on biking and choose to be grateful for the courage to ride another day.

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